Because You Loved Me
by Atsureki
Summary: Songfic. Zel and Amelia happily married, but nothing lasts forever ne? The song used it Celine Dion's Because you loved me.


Disclaims : Don't own them, don't sue me, make no money from this… You know the drill right?

Warnings: Well angst *sniffles* I'm so sorry Zelgadis *hangs head in shame*

Oh and the song used here is Because you loved me/Celine Dion

BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME

He looked at his wife, the queen. She was everything to him. When she was younger she had seemed annoying but as she grew older everything changed. And it changed into this. The woman lying infront of him was the only woman he had ever loved and for a long long time he hadn't spent a day without her. He smiled and carressed her cheek. She didn't open her eyes but he knew that if she had they would have shone with love just like they always did…

For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all

Quietly he left his wife's side and walked over to the window. It was a beautiful summerday. In his thought he traveled back in time. Before he met her he had been gloomy and always sad. Not so strange perhaps since his body hadn't been human but a chimera's. But she showed up, rocking the boat he sat in. Refusing to let his attitude towards life chase her away. The more he had fought her the closer she got to him. He never could remember the exact time when he had started seeing life through her eyes. But after that finding a cure for his chimera-body never seemed all that important again. It was like her presence had turned him into something new, something better. Zelgadis smiled. It was almost 30 years since he first had laid eyes on the Princess of Seyruun and more than 20 years since she became his wife. Like it was yesterday he could remember their wedding, their first night together as husband and wife and that day when her father had died. That was the only time in his life he had seen Amelia completely devastated. Philionel, was her only family, except the chimera of course, and the loss of her father had almost crushed her. Zel knew that if he hadn't beent her to comfort her she might have perished in sorrow. With a sigh he picked up his guitar and started playing. Sad tunes filled the small room and traveled out through the window. He had played this song a million times but the one time that he always remember was on a ghostship out on a dark sea. Separated from Amelia but back than he hadn't yet understood just how much he really cared for her…

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

It wasn't until much later he had realized how she gave him everthing he needed right when he needed it. If he was weak, she lend him strenght and if he was blinded by his own sadness she made him see everything so much clearer that he ever could on his own. For years he had thanked the Gods for sending him Amelia. Without her he would be nothing. There had never been a time when she hadn't been there for him and never had she asked anything in return. First he hadn't understood why she wanted him and he couldn't see what he could possibly give her. What in the world did a chimera have to offer a princess? Now he knew, now he understood. He had given her someone to love, at first without realizing it himself. Once upon a time he had been furious over the love she gave him and he had asked her why she kept on loving him when he didn't want her to. He had never asked for her to love him. She had just smiled at him and answered that just as he never had been asked to be loved she had never asked to love him. Nothing either one of them could do would change the fact that she did love him and if he didn't want her love she could only say that she was sorry. Zelgadis stopped playing and sighed again. Where would he be today if she had given up on him? Probably dead, he thought to himself. Why care for a life you didn't really want? It was true he had hated himself so much, despised the chimera he was. But Amelia's love had conquered all that, it had broken through the wall he had spent so many years building. 

You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall   
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you

The moment he admitted to himself that he really did love her everthing had changed. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest and suddenly set his heart free. At several times he had lost all faith and without hesitation she had brought it back to him without asking any question. And when they got married he knew that she would be by his side till death did them part. Through the years they had of course noticed that he didn't grow old. When her black hair started shifting in gray it had been so obvious that one day she would be gone and he would be all alone again. That knowledge had scared him more than anything but they had plenty of time. Amelia wasn't old or anything so time was one their side or wasn't it? Zelgadis crossed the small room and sat down beside his wife again. If he didn't focus hard enough reality caught up with him. Her pink soft skin started showing a blue tone and her eyes sank deeper into her skull. The once red lips turned grayish and the shiny black hair lost its shine. With a moan he took her hand in his. Even her hands felt diffrent now. All her limbs were stiff and cold not warm and soft like they used to be. He didn't understand how this could be. She was only 42, there were so many years left for them to be together. Only a week ago she had looked into his eyes and smiled. Only a week ago he had fallen asleep with her in his arms and… The tears that ran down his cheeks interrupted his train of thoughts and left him staring into Amelias face. It was just that when he woke up the next morning, only a week ago, Amelia hadn't moved. Nothing he had done had managed to wake her up again. Her huge blue eyes were forever closed just like her love was forever gone. The whole city of Seyruun mourned the loss of their queen but for Zelgadis it was a matter of losing the reason for living, half his heart, all his mind and all he was. There was nothing left in the world of Amelia now. They had never had any children, so there was nobody left to remind him about the woman he loved. Night after night he sat beside her and refused to leave. Time and time again Lina and Gourry had tried to convince him to bury her but he just couldn't bring himself to it. She'll be all alone in a dark cold grave, he had said to them, Amelia wants to stay here with me. 

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

Zel hid his face in his hands and leaned against Amelia's chest. He couldn't let go of her, not now, not so soon. Besides what would be left for him when she was completely gone? An eternity of being lonely, of missing and longing for someone who was forever gone. He was almost 50 years old and looked exactly the same as he had when he was 19. But he had to live, he didn't have a choice. There was no way for him to end his own life. The chimera-body that hadn't bothered him for over 20 years was suddenly his biggest problem. No knife would ever rob him of his life, no fall would ever crush his body. Zelgadis swollowed his tears and rushed to his feet. With disbelife he stared at the wall infront of him. A shimmer played over the stones and slowly transformed into a woman whose body he knew better than his own. She was almost transparent and each movemeant of the wind caused her body to tremble. With a smile on her ghostlips she floated nearer to him and reached out to caress his face with her pale hands.  
"You have to let me go, my love," the ghost whispered to him. "It's breaking my heart to see you this sad. Why do you think I've left you?"   
"But you have left me, Amelia. The moment you died you left me," Zel moaned and tried to pull the ghost close but his hands went right through her.   
"Do you really think death has such powers? I will alway be in your heart Zelgadis, nothing can take that away from you. But you have to let my body go now. It's hurting you to hang on to it," Amelia smiled softly to him. Even though she was just a ghost he could still see the love in her eyes.   
"But I can't feel you anymore," he sighed and started crying again. Again she caressed his cheek.  
"That's because you won't allow yourself to feel anymore. Just open up your heart again. Don't close it so that my love can't find you." With those words said she started fading. Zel reached out his hands for her and moaned in longing.   
"Don't go Amelia I can't live without you." The ghost stopped for a moment and gave him a sad smile.   
"In time we'll be together again but you have to wait until then. I'll always be with you," she whispered and was gone again. Zelgadis fell to his knees and hugged himself. This was too much, it was too cruel. Why did they have to first take his Amelia away from him and then let him see her again. Her words kept on ringing in his ears. She had told him that she always would be in his heart if he just opened it up for her. Slowly the chimera felt his heart. First he didn't find anything but than suddenly there she was. Her laughter, the love she had for him, the strenght she gave him and the time they had spent together. Amelia's ghost had been telling the truth, he would never be alone. Of course this could never erase the fact that she was dead but at least he had something to hang on to. Slowly he stumbled to his feet and leaned over Amelia's body. Gently he kissed her good-bye.   
"I'm everything I am just because you loved me," he sighed and left the room…

I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

By: Atsureki


End file.
